Gove said to the world “ICT is no more,
The curriculum’s going out of the front door.
It’s coders we need and I need not disguise,
You should all teach computing on Raspberry Pi’s.”
A school full of hackers’
That’s of course what we need,
The games companies desperate,
Many gamers to feed.
But what Gove failed to say,
As the subject was shot,
We need teachers to teach it,
And to teach it a lot,
And those teachers can teach,
So the Heads have all heard,
In Excel or in Access or perhaps just in Word,
But of Java and Python and Lua and C,
These teachers know nothing, not even VB.
So how can they teach all these eager young pupils,
Of Arrays and of Loops and of Ifs and of Tuples.
They simple can’t do it they’ll, need costly training,
And the Heads’ eagerness is suddenly waning.
“Don’t worry says Gove, you don’t need to fret,
I was telling white lies when I spoke out at BETT.
There’s no need to teach ICT in particular,
Why don’t you just all go and teach cross-curricular?”
“Historians, Chemists, Mathematicians you see,
You don’t need to be skilled to teach ICT.”
“But you said computing, that’s what we all heard”
“But I am a Tory, you can’t trust my word.”
“When I said computing I meant in the grammars,
Not comps where the kids barely have any manners,
Your students are not academically able
They couldn’t tell fiber from coaxial cable”
So the heads give a sigh of enormous relief,
And silently thanked the old ICT thief.
They can sack a few teachers and call the job done,
No computers to buy that’ll cost them a ton,
No Head of Computing they’ll need to anoint,
And the students can go back to old PowerPoint.